Monster
by moonshadow2012
Summary: A nightmare makes Natsu careless in a fight, what will the consequences be? And what happens when Lucy is in the wrong place at the wrong time? NATSUXLUCY T for character death


**Okay so I saw this vid on Youtube with part of this song and I decided to do a Natsu tribute to it. It's an awesome song, and you really need to look it up to get the full effect. NatsuXLucy**

_His little whispers_

_Love me_

_Love me_

_That's all I ask for_

_Love me_

_Love me_

Natsu tossed and turned in his sleep, moaning. His normally care-free brow was creased in silent distress. In his dreams, he was five years old. His parents – his human parents – were there. But they weren't listening to his pleas or paying any attention to his words.

"Daddy, daddy, look at me, look at me!" He cried, tugging on his father's pant leg. The man kicked the little boy away, sending him sprawling in the dirt, coughing up blood.

_He batters his tiny fists to feel something_

"Why. Won't. They. _Listen?_" The five-year-old screamed, slamming punch after punch into the solid concrete floor of the apartment. He felt anger as he'd never felt before eating him alive. "_AHHHHH!_" He screamed.

_Wonders what it's like to touch_

_And feel something_

Nobody knew the abuse, physical and mental, that Natsu had suffered from his human parents. Not even Happy. Certainly not Lucy. The girl was a blabbermouth, she'd probably spread it all around the Guild within five minutes. He couldn't tell her. And besides, he didn't think he could stand her pitying looks.

_Monster_

_How should I feel?_

Natsu didn't know how to…to _feel _like Lucy or the other humans did. He didn't know what love felt like, or true sadness. He didn't know what true belonging felt like. Sure, he felt 'at home' in Fairy Tail, and with Happy, but he'd never felt like he was truly meant to be anywhere – except with Igneel. Who was a dragon. _Everyone thinks that dragons are monsters._ Natsu thought. _What does that make me? Am I a monster too?_

_There are creatures_

_Looking through the windows_

"AH!" Lucy screamed, jumping back into Natsu. He caught her unconsciously, looking towards what had made her afraid _this _time. His eyes widened as he saw the five fire-creatures outside the windows.

"Lucy, get behind me." He said in a low voice.

"What are they?" Lucy asked, her small body trembling in his arms.

"Just. Get. Behind me." He snapped. Lucy looked up in surprise. Natsu had never snapped at her before. She scrambled behind him, cowering in his warm shadow.

_That night he caged her_

_Bruised her_

_And broke her_

"Natsu?" Lucy asked. She pushed the door open and slipped inside. Natsu was crouched by a window, holding his head and trembling. "Are you okay?" After he had lead the fire-creatures away from her, she hadn't seen him again. She was worried.

"You shouldn't have come here, Lucy." Natsu said in a low, angry tone. Lucy backed up a few steps, then forced herself to go to her friend's side. She touched his shoulder in the dark.

"Natsu – " She gasped, jerking her hand away. It was sticky with Natsu's blood. "Natsu, you're hurt." Her voice trembled.

"Stay _away from me Lucy!_" Natsu shouted, pushing her back.

Lucy flew into a wall, sliding down it and landing on the ground with a thud. She felt pain shoot up her spine and saw white spots dance before her eyes. "Natsu…" She panted, "What's wrong with you?"

"The fire-things did something to me. I-I can't – I can't control myself." Natsu was at her side in an instant, picking her up by her fragile neck and squeezing her until her face turned blue and she gasped for breath that wouldn't come.

"Natsu, _stop!_" Lucy begged.

"I can't." Natsu said regretfully.

_He struggled closer_

_Than he_

_Stole her!_

Natsu pushed Lucy to the ground and pinned her arms and legs beneath him. He ripped her keys from her belt and threw them across the room. His fingernails dug deep into her shoulders, producing rivers of dark, thick blood. One thought occupied his crazed mind. _Revenge._ Revenge for all his human parents had put him through. Revenge for everything Igneel himself had put him through. Revenge for all the scars and all the nightmares and all the pain he'd been put through that nobody cared enough to ask about.

Lucy's tears of pain and betrayal streaked down her cheeks as she saw her former friend – scratch that. He was still her friend. – in his crazed state. She didn't know what was going on. "Natsu…" She pleaded quietly, one more time. "Natsu, _please_."

_Violet wrists and then her ankles_

_Silent pain_

Lucy bit her lip and remained silent through the rest of the beating. At one point, she was too tired and hurt to even cry out if she wanted to. All she could do was watch as the boy she'd trusted, the boy she'd looked up to, _the boy she'd loved – _and still did – as he beat her to death.

"Natsu, what is going on?" A small voice asked from the doorway. Lucy tilted her head with what small strength she had left and saw the tiny blue cat watching with eyes wide in fear. "What happened to Lucy?"

_Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams_

Natsu snapped back to consciousness as soon as Happy's words left his mouth. Guilt washed over the fire wizard in huge waves. He forced himself to look down on the girl he'd promised to protect. He almost threw up. All…that…_blood_…

He was a monster. And there was only one thing to do with monsters that couldn't be trusted.

_Monster_

_How should I feel?_

He'd been closer than ever to having true friends and he'd blown it. He'd thought he'd known what love was, finally, but love wouldn't do that. Love wouldn't beat its target to within an inch of their life.

Maybe taking their life.

Even in his exhausted and wounded form, he was so much faster than Happy, or any of the other members of Fairy Tail who had decided to chase him. He ran until he was sure they weren't following him anymore, and then ran until his legs gave out. His clothes were sticky and soaked with blood – some of it his, and most of it Lucy's. He fell on his face, sobbing. Why couldn't he get it right? What was wrong with him? His head buzzed and sweat added to the mix of liquids on his body. Something…in his head…

"NO!" Natsu screamed out loud. "I will not be controlled by you anymore! I WILL NOT BE CONTROLLED!"

_There are creatures_

_Looking through the windows_

The creatures…this was their fault. _This was all their fault!_ Even now he could hear them coming up behind him, stalking him. They could track him by the scent their bite had left. If only he hadn't been so _stupid_…if only he'd listened when Lucy had told him not to lead them away from the Guild.

_I will_

_Hear their voices_

_I'm a glass child_

_I am Hannah's regrets_

"Here's to the monster I've become…and the monster I've always been." Natsu said bitterly, reaching in pant leg for the dagger he always kept hidden there. "Here's to my whole f-ed up existence."

_Monster_

_How should I feel?_

"_NATSU!_" Lucy screamed when she woke up in the bed.

"Lucy, Lucy – calm down!" Mirajane pressed her back onto the bed, a worried frown etched onto her beautiful features. Lucy struggled against the older woman, but she was still too weak from Natsu's beating. Natsu…where was Natsu? He had to be somewhere…causing trouble or saving someone…he couldn't be far...he had to know she didn't blame him for what he did, that she loved him anyway. He couldn't be…He couldn't be…

But if Natsu wasn't gone, then why was her heart so hollow?

Lucy swallowed her fear and caught Mirajane by her hand. "Mira…" Lucy's voice sounded so weak, even to her. She swallowed and tried again. "Mira, where is Natsu?" A cloud of sadness covered Mirajane's beautiful features.

"I'm sorry, Lucy…" She began. Lucy's grip tightened, her fingernails digging into the woman's wrist.

"_What happened?_" She demanded.

_Turn the sheets down_

_Smother ears with pillow lace_

After six weeks of therapy and visits to a healing wizard, Lucy was finally alone in her house. The other members of Fairy Tail had left her alone for the most part – they could tell she was no longer the Lucy they knew. Happy was the only one who would talk to her these days…but most of the time now he was off continuing the search he and Natsu had begun for Natsu's adopted father, Igneel. It was his way of keeping his best friend alive.

Lucy was a zombie in the skin of a living girl. She looked the same, said the same things, and acted relatively the same – but it was all carried out with a flat, dull emotion. Scratch that – no emotion was in her, whatsoever. After Mirajane had told her about Natsu's suicide, Lucy had closed herself off to the world. It had been three months – three long, horrible months – without Fairy Tail's shining light of energy. And Lucy was already at the center of the black hole the dying star had created.

_There's bathtubs_

_Filled with glow flies_

Lucy lit the fragrant candles all over her house. She had gone on a particularly dangerous mission to get the money to buy them. Fire. In honor of the only person she'd loved enough to die for…but that wasn't what had happened, was it? And he would never know now, would he? Anyway, fire. Red candles, blood red drapes. All purchased with the money she'd been saving up. She'd even sold her keys to make the final payment for the blood red dress she was wearing.

_Bathe in Kerosene_

_Their words tattooed in *her* veins_

Lucy slipped beneath the liquid that filled the bathtub almost to overflowing. She sat up, her elegant legs stretched out before her and covered by the red satin dress that flowed under the kerosene. She dosed herself all over with the putrid liquid, making sure she didn't miss any part of her body. Almost lovingly, she lit a match and held it over the kerosene-filled tub.

"I love you, Natsu. I can't live without you. Here's to us." Lucy dropped the match, one more word leaving her crimson-painted lips before the whole tub ignited.

"Forever."

**Yeeeeeeaaah. Hope you enjoyed! And those of you who like this kind of thing (like me), or those of you who want to slaughter me for killing Natsu (like me), REVIEW AND TELL ME ABOUT IT FOR GOSH'S SAKE!**


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